My April post was supposed to be a continuation of my story on the waterways but something I heard on the radio this week stopped me in my tracks and I had to write about it because it was a moment of revelation to me.

When I was eighteen in 1984 my family suffered an awful trauma when my brother died and I carried the weight of the world around with me for years. I was also told that year not to come home if I got pregnant outside of marriage. However, unknown to me, and all around me there was a much greater dilemma unfolding. The abuse of women in Ireland was beginning to be unveiled.

I wasn’t tuned in to politics in those days but one woman, Ailbhe Smith, was already a powerhouse. Her interview on the radio this week sensitised me to the women’s liberation movement, something I feel slightly ashamed about today that I wasn’t more open to in the past. As I left Ireland at a very young age and struggled for several years finding a home abroad I was detached from the issues of women in Ireland. I only thought of Ireland as a dark place. I missed it in a melancholic way, or most probably it was just my family that I missed. I became very nostalgic over the years and that longing to go home finally brought me back twenty five years later.

Today I have caught up with what a lot of women have gone through and feel really sad that this country, which the world holds in such high esteem, continues to be such an unfair place for many.

I always used to think the feminist movement was a bunch of men haters so I felt it wasn’t a positive thing to get involved in, thus never informed myself. How did that notion bore it's way into my head? I didn’t understand the role of institutions back in those days.

I feel very sad for society that in 2023 we haven’t learnt to be kinder to each other.

So many layers of darkness, questions, feelings of guilt, feelings of not belonging, feelings of not being worth anything. One big blur with a recurring r - blurrrrrrrrr

I felt as if a great veil, which shadowed my mind, lifted today. Today, thirty years after 1984 I feel a great sense of relief. It was a cathartic moment and I definitely have a greater understanding of the empathy needed to support the weakest and most vulnerable in our society.

Today, I think I might be growing up. I know now why I paint.

I believe in the absolute powerful positive force of the Arts on society.